so that wasnt chicken after all
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
