So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
