I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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