Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
