At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize