Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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