he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You did what with his pubic hair?
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