I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
