I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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