after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
