Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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