so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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