I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
