i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
