Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize