think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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