Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
