is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
