i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
