It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
