So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
