Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
