Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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