bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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