can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
