I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
