Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
