So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
