I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize