I am puke
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So squirting runs in the family.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
