Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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