I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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