There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
