You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
one two three fourrrrnication!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
