There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
