How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
