dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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