Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
