im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
