I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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