We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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