worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize