I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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