Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
