This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
