'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
