Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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