no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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