She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How does one acquire holy water?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
