scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
