we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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