she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
