Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
