I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
