A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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