The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
