I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I lost the right to judge tonight
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
