So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
