bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
