One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize