I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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