Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm at about main and main street
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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