Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
