she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize