end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
