if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
