Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
