Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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