All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
