WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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