do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
