Don't make out with my wife yet
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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