don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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