I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think people are normalizing furries
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
