What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
