As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
